These trans people are going stealth to survive in Trump’s America

Words by Nico Lang 

Before U.S. President Donald Trump’s reelection, Brigitte was becoming increasingly comfortable asserting herself as a trans woman. After transitioning in her early teens, she had begun seeking out the company of trans people, newly desiring community and camaraderie. She even had the opportunity to go out for a new job that would see her working closely alongside other trans women. But now with Trump in the White House, she just wants to be invisible. “I have backed away from my transness,” Brigitte, who requested the use of a pseudonym for this story, tells GAY TIMES. “It’s something that I feel like I need to hide for my own survival.”

Brigitte, who is now 22, says that she has stopped telling people she’s trans under the second Trump administration, except for the very small number of people who were already aware. In her daily life, she just tries to blend in. During a brief hospital stay earlier this week, she didn’t even tell the medical team that she was trans. When the nurses asked if she was sure she wasn’t pregnant, inquiring as to her most recent period, she just kept smiling and nodding. When an Uber driver with “Fuck Your Feelings” decals on his car recently began ranting that trans people are “delusional” and “think that they can just be whatever they want,” she found herself agreeing with him. “Yeah, people are going crazy nowadays,” she said, counting the seconds until she could stop chuckling politely for her own safety.

Later, after these moments have passed her by, Brigitte will find herself daydreaming about what she might have said. She fantasises about coming up with the perfect witty retort or even just being a little bit rude in response to others’ casual transphobia. But she feels as if she has no choice but to be perfect, like a living doll. She has to be as feminine as possible, but not so much that she draws attention to herself. She has to be nice and agreeable because the hard truth is that she doesn’t know what other people are thinking or what they might be capable of.